June 2, 2010

Start of Month Update- June 2010

Since last month was pretty much full on fail, I've decided to step back and try fewer, easier goals. I have to accept that I'm doing the hugely depressed/ overwhelmed thing right now, and that depression gets some say in what I do.

So, to try and keep it from taking over totally, I'm going to try small goals, and fewer of them. I think having only 4 or 5 goals (or two or three) should help with the feelings of impending *Fail*. After all, if I have 20 goals and meet 3 of them, I Fail 85% of them. If I have 5 goals and manage three, I WIN 60%. Sure, it's a cheat, but I use what I got.

So for goals.
  • turn in at least 2 applications every week.
  • Leave the house at least 4 days a week (before noon), and talk to at least 1 person each time
  • Fill out forbearance paperwork on student loans
  • increase daily internet income from 50 cents to 60 cents on average for the month
  • write one article for each section of the new website- basics, food, sleep, activities, other fun.
I think I should be able to manage these. They are goals I can (for the most part) control all by myself- daily internet income excepted. I already have the student loan paperwork. I also have an application I need to turn in.

If *this* overwhelms me and I shut down... I dunno what would be next. One goal at a time?

There aren't any real debt or income related goals on there (adsense doesn't count). There's a pretty good reason for that. With nothing coming in, I pretty much totally freak out when I think about money- how much needs to come in, how far behind I am, how long until I don't have to worry about it any more. So I've got goals that (should) eventually lead to bringing in money/ paying debts off, but without the super high pressure/ drama direct goals.

Oh, one other goal-
  • Meditate daily
Hey, it works for other people. What's the worst that could happen? I spend time thinking to myself about not being able to stop thinking? I do that when I try to fall asleep. And maybe it'll help me stay calm.

Totally off topic- If I were ever filthy stinking rich, I think it would be a huge pile of fun to have a tardis in the middle of my kitchen. Even if it didn't go any when.

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