June 16, 2010

I didn't get that article written. I knew what I wanted to write, and i just didn't do it. It could be fear (I'm unusually good at that), it could be laziness (good at that too), or it could be this sort of creeping ennui, in which case I think I'm SOL.

After all, fear can be fixed with a quick trip to the doctor for some tasty valium, a trip to the liquor store for a bottle of something cheap and strong, or the ever popular "finding something worse to fear", which for me usually just makes it doubly unlikely that I get anything done.

Laziness is something I'm working on. I've actually developed and (mostly) stuck to a schedule here and on my food blog, which is quite an accomplishment. I just need to add two or three more things into the mix. I can't say here that i'm going to do something, then not do it because I don't want to.

Heck, most of the time the thing I don't want to do lately is even *interesting*. How often is the thing you have to do *interesting*? Sure, I need to figure out some design stuff, but other than that, this is *fun*. I get to create something from nothing, and because it doesn't otherwise exist, no one can really tell me I'm doing it wrong.

Then, I'm also fighting the new shiny ball problem. I have another idea (or three) that seem like they'd be less work, or more fun, or just different, and I want to do those instead. Pleh.

So how do I think I can work with this? Simple, i'm thinking about taking the weekend off from the internet. I'm sure i'll be twitching by Saturday afternoon, but I don't need internet to write articles for a web site. I can fix them for SEO Monday. I can fix the page itself Monday. But if I'm actually going to get something done, I need a stick to smack me into wandering in the right direction.

My motivation for finding a job is just as low as what I've got for my projects, lower even. I'm applying for jobs that (mostly) don't interest me doing (mostly) things that disgust me, working for companies that I (again, mostly) don't support. I'm sure this has a lot to do with why everything else is all screwy. Maybe I should listen to the roommate and get a paper route. The money really *can't* be any worse than doing nothing, right?

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