March 15, 2010

Super Single Girl Money Saver Number 1 -- Roommates

There are bunches of options out there for saving money. Some of them save a little over a long time (CF lightbulbs, buying less food), some of them save a lot all at once (buying the cheapest used car that won't get your license yanked), and some save a lot over a long time (routine car maintenance, Dentist check ups).

Most of them aren't fun. This Super Money Saver, though, seems to be the most dreaded. More than cancelling cable or cutting back on cell phone features (which I'll get to... eventually).

Living with roommates.

After Debt payments, my biggest single expense each month is rent. Really. And i live with roommates. If I didn't, it'd be close to beating out *the total* of my monthly minimums right now.

Like with anything that deals with saving money, you need to think about pros and cons. If you're not careful, or the potential roommate doesn't disclose everything, or the landlord is of the slum variety your living situation could suck. Lots.

But if you know what you're doing, and you're careful, and you don't let people pressure you into things without thinking it can be a great money saver.

Pros to sharing housing (not a bedroom, just an apartment)
  • Lower rent (this is the big one)
  • Split utility bills
  • Some support if you don't know anyone else in the area
  • Split chores
Not bad, right? Unfortunately, there is a nasty downside here, too.

Cons to sharing housing
  • Different standards- slobs with neat freaks, private people with party animals
  • Less privacy- You won't generally be able to make wild freaky monkey love on the kitchen table.
  • Irresponsible or inconsiderate roommates- if they don't cover their part of the rent, you have to.
  • Explaining to friends and family why you're living with "strangers"
There are more, but they differ with each situation and set of potential flat/ house/ roommates.

So how do you go about finding decent, employed roommates who's lives aren't so far off yours that you want to slam your head against the wall, or get an SO just so you don't have to go back there every night?

Most of it you need to do before even meeting them or looking at ads. You need to know who you are, what you need in your home, what you're willing to do or deal with, and what is a non-negotiable.

Disclaimer- I do not have such an agreement with my current roommates, and I've started a countdown to move out- in 10.5 months. This is a clear-cut instance of FAIL. I should have known it was going to go bad when they wouldn't even discuss a cleaning schedule or standards.

So you make up your list. Put crazy stuff on it- no cheetos or chocolate in the house during diets, people are responsible for the dribbles and toilet seat positions left by them/ their guests, no guests at all ever anywhere in the house, whatever. Put Stuff That Matters on the list- expectations of quiet times, smoking, pets, cleaning rotations and standards, responsibility for bills, kitchen or religious habits, overnight guests.

Wait, what? Quiet, smoking, pets you get, right? Maybe even cleaning and bills. But kitchen habits? Religious choices? Sleep Overs?

This is stuff you might not think of before looking for a roommate. It's stuff with a total ability to drive you nuts after. I live with two guys. One has his boyfriend (semi-committed) sleep over one or two nights a week. The other brings his Friend With Benefits over three or more nights a week and leaves her at the house while he works a 12 hour shift. They have a *lower* standard of clean than I do. I just want it to not look like a crack den and not attract more bugs. No pubes on the bathroom floor/ pee smell would be a nice bonus. They don't seem to mind that so much.

And don't even start on the religion thing. A flaming atheist and a serious, devout Christian should not live together. Just trust me on this one. It leads to bad things. And bodies. Likewise Kucinich supporters and people who vote for Palin should not cohabitate. People with day jobs and those on third shift are another example.

And, while I know this last one will probably draw a lot of crap, it's still true. People from different ends of the socio-economic spectrum should probably not live together. Likewise people who value education and those who scoff at learning.

I am doing most of those things now. We have an atheist, a pagan, and a (non-churching) Christian living here. I come from a background that values work and goals (even if I don't seem to be living up to those expectations), and which is admittedly very upper middle class white. Anywhere else it would just be upper middle class, but for some reason people in the south seem to make a big deal over dermal pigment. Don't get it, but whatever. My roommates were raised working class, lower middle class. They value a job, but have no interest in finding something that fulfills them, just in a paycheck and beer money.

Class is a big angry tiger everyone in the US tries to pretend isn't there. You can pretend it's not there all you want, but the manner you are raised- and the manners you're raised with- will make a big difference in who you can live with.

Now you've got your list of things you're looking for in a roommate. How about things you don't want? Only put total deal breakers on here. If I were someplace more liberal than South Carolina my list for this would still be pretty short- no one who can't pay rent, no cats, no one who watches Fox News and *likes it* for other than comedic value, no eaters of meat. Here that's cut down to just the first two.

Now you can go looking at ads. Much like finding an apartment for just yourself, start in areas you like, in your price range. People in the US use craigslist.org. You can search rooms/ shares by price and keyword. Vegan in Charleston, SC brings up no listings. In Los Angeles it brings up dozens. Check the ads that match, read them to see if the people seem like the sort you can get along with. If all's good at that point, contact them. E-mail or text, or whatever they say they prefer. Tell them about yourself, what you're looking for in a roommate situation. Let them know anything you're non-negotiable on, and that you're hoping to find people who'd be willing to have a (formal/ informal) roommate agreement.

You won't hear back from everyone. You might not get some places you think you'd love. Some people will freak out at the idea of a negotiated set of standards and ways to deal with stuff. Most Professional, Educated people should be cool with it tho. If they aren't, they might not be people you want to share rent with.

Important- Make sure the non-negotiable stuff is worked out before this! If you *cannot* be around smoke, make sure you're not moving in with smokers. If they keep kosher, you'll need to either have a pig pan or live without bacon cheeseburgers at home. Also keep in mind that anything on that list covers everyone, not just them.

  • Once you find this roommate situation, you have to actually draw up the agreement. Everyone makes a list of stuff they would like to have (heating/ cooling limits, communication methods when things aren't working, cleaning rotation ideas, number of nights someone can sleep over before they need to start kicking in for rent and electric). All the negotiable stuff.
  • Once everyone has their list go through and put everything you all have down in the agreement. If you all want an empty sink before bedtime, no loud noise after 10 on weeknights, and to watch the Amazing Race, those don't need to be bargained over. If 2 out of three want it, it's time to deal.
  • Rank what's left on your list. Leave the crazy stuff off.
  • Based on how important things are to other people, add items to the agreement. If one person ranks "toilet cleaned daily" first, you might want to agree- so long as they're willing to do most of the additional cleaning.
  • Work your way down the lists until everyone's satisfied that whats *actually important* to them is included.
  • Leave less important things to be dealt with as needed. It's a home, after all, not a prison.
Make sure you include in there some kind of conflict resolution method. Nothing sucks more than living with people, having a problem with them, and having no way to deal with it. Have a set weekly, semi-monthly, or monthly meeting to talk over stuff, deal with bills, and get all the business out of the way.

Roommates can save you a lot of money. Just make sure you jump in the smart way.

Oh, and if your roommate (like mine) complains about the power bill but never turns his or her computer off and keeps the house at 70F year round, just remember it's not forever.

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