End of Month Update- June 2010

To start out, I got one thing done that wasn't anywhere as tough as I thought it would be- I applied for (and so far got) forbearance on my (non-private, in repayment) student loans. So Bonus. If (when) I finish filling out the paperwork at an "employment" agency (also known as a temp agency) I can apply for deferral instead.

New website isn't coming along. I had the main page up, but decided I didn't think it was going to work. Rather than work on it in WP, though, I decided to try it in Joomla again. Mistake. I can't get it to look professional *at all*, so back to WP I'll be going.

I managed about 6 applications (so far, month isn't quite over yet), so I was 2-4 short. I'll call it a half fail.

With one day to go, I haven't *quite* hit my income goal (20% was, maybe, a little ballsy), but I've still grown over last month. I've have joined a new ad network, which pays totally on eyeballs, rather than clicks, hopefully increasing my income there. It also shares headlines, so I might get some new visitors as well.

I *did* leave the house about 4 days a week, but usually only one or two was before noon. I (mostly) managed to talk to someone each time, except the library- they've put in an automatic check out, and I don't think they care that I'm trying to practice being social.

Oh, and the meditating? Not so much. Even when I remember to try it, I can't shut my brain up enough to want to try it. I know, can't get better if you don't practice.

I did manage to not totally freak out this month. I called and cashed out my (one) stock and my (whole $200) 401k, which took calling and talking to strangers with out hyperventilating. Yay for shy geeky anti-social types!

Now I'm gonna write out a check for the rent (and the back rent) so I have a place to live in July.

Nothing today

Back to posting Wednesday. Honest.

What A Crap Job Is To Me

Normal people probably think of a crap job as one of those jobs where you're working with raw sewage, or at McDonald's, or digging through garbage, or even taking off your clothes for money. In my world, those don't even count as jobs. Those are my own versions of Dante's hell.

So what, then, do I mean when I say I want a crap job?

Simple. I want something that pays (just enough) to cover the bills, but not so much that I won't be able to afford to leave. Something that's interesting to do for a year (or even two, if I need/ want to) but that doesn't really have great opportunities for the rest of my life.

Mostly, these are going to be entry level jobs. Think parking lot attendant, or receptionist in a (non-boring) office. Personal assistant would be either too interesting (with a cool boss), or too hellish (with a bad boss) to make the cut. Entry level kitchen work would be a good fit, if I could stand to work with meat all day.

Really, I guess when I say "crap" job I mean "day job"- even if it's at night. Something you do while you build something else. Interesting enough to not make you head-desk all day long, but not so comfortable that you can never leave. I want something that's interesting with enough space to learn new stuff that I'm not totally bored, but not so good that when I'm ready- when my "business" is ready -I don't want to leave.

Wow, it's weird talking about this internet stuff as a business. That's what it is, though, I guess. Much like an actor's or writer's career is a business, even when they aren't making anything from it.

Maybe I shouldn't call them crap jobs. I'm sure some people out there desire nothing more than to be a parking lot attendant for the rest of their life. To me, though, they're just an intermediate step. A stop along my path that is only intended to be temporary, so shouldn't be *too* comfortable. I don't enjoy being an employee, so that shouldn't be a problem, right? I don't know, and I don't want to test it.

So crap jobs they are.

Mini-update

Just 'cause I think sometimes it's good to get stuff out there so i know where I am with those pesky goals-

• I've put in for forbearance on student loans, and will probably be picking up some deferrals as well.
• I've applied and applied (and applied) for jobs, but still no luck.
• I'm in the process of attaching myself to an employment agency or two.
• I've meditated all of three times this month, but when I do it, it helps.
• Have been accepted into a shiny new ad network for my food blog. Should be going live with the new ads either late this week or early next. Bonus- they provide somewhat more transparency than the big G.
• Went from having things set up to start my local guide page, to dumping it and switching from WP to Joomla. I like WP, but it's not right for this project. Now I just need to learn Joomla and I'm set.
• Actually called and sold my (1.148 shares or something) stock from the job-o-doom at WM. Cashed out my 401(k) as well, and will be getting that money in the next week and a half or so.
• Returned library books on time this week so no fines.

So that's where I am right now. Still a bunch of stuff I need to do, but not bad, otherwise. With about a week left to go in the month, Hopefully I can do even better. Stranger things have happened.

Finding Cash

I've finally ended most of my associations with the huge retailer I no longer use. Called and sold my 1ish shares of stock and cashed out my 401k.

Wow, do they make that both easy and crazy hard. I tracked down what paperwork I have. I put more money into stock then they're showing, but no way to prove that, so... They charged me $20.10 to sell my 1+ shares. They're really all about keeping the investors. The guy tried to upsell me to faster check postage, but I wasn't going for that. My 50 had already shrunk to 35, I wasn't interested in shrinking it any farther.

Then I called and dumped the 401k. That was actually worth more than I thought. When the lady told me that I wasn't fully vested, that I'd have to spend a full 6 years there to be, I almost cackled over the phone at her. If I'd spent much more time at that place someone was going to end up dead. Probably me.

So they held back 15 for fees and 40 for estimated taxes, and she advised me that I should talk to someone about taxes, because it could get complicated... I said that's nice, and USPS for free is better than UPS for $20, now just sell the dratted thing.

So sometime around the end of the month I should be getting two checks for a total of about $230, no small pile of cash in my world right now.

Yay?

The Crappy Job Dilemma

Kind of thinking I've mentally gotten close tot he "any job, no matter how poorly paid or unpleasant" point.

For the longest time my roommate has been suggesting I try delivering papers. He does it and doesn't mind it, and it is (to him) good money. I've been less than enthused by the idea because it doesn't really pay that much ($150 or so a week, maybe up to 300 for a good route), and it's all 1099 work.

Well, that and it requires driving all over town in the middle of the night.

Maybe it's a chick thing to be concerned about that, maybe it's just a fear thing. Maybe it's that my car leaks gas and I'm not sure how many more miles it has left in it (it was, after all, $600) and I'm out of cell phone time until I top up.

My roommate doesn't do his own taxes, though, so I don't know how much the 1099 thing effects him. He also doesn't own a car- he's using the other roommate's, so he doesn't worry about the associated costs of driving around.

Otherwise, it's really not that bad a job- just driving around, dropping off papers. He doesn't do home delivery though- he's the guy that refills the boxes and drops piles of papers off at stores and hotels and whatnot. He's done in just a couple hours, though, so... I don't know. I should google it.

Really though, it's pretty seriously low pay. Figure nothing will cost less than $5 a night in gas alone, so that's $30 a week. Insurance would go up (eventually) which is another however much a month. Self employment taxes and needing to either file myself or pay for e-filing/ online tax-prep. Additional time spent doing paperwork, wear and tear on the craptastic car-o-doom, more regular oil changes (or oil changes at all) and eventually another car. When does the "just need to bring in *something* outweigh the expense of doing it?

Heck, if the average route is 40 miles of driving, and the fed expense rate is still 55 cents a mile, that's $22 a night in car alone- $132 a week. So I'm sure it's a good deduction (if you can take it) but it also means I'd have to manage expenses like a w00t 1337 winner to be making more than $0.50 an hour after expenses. And that doesn't pay the rent any more than 50 cents a day on adsense does.

Pleh. I don't know. It'd be better (mentally) than working at McDonalds. Dunno about financially.

I didn't get that article written. I knew what I wanted to write, and i just didn't do it. It could be fear (I'm unusually good at that), it could be laziness (good at that too), or it could be this sort of creeping ennui, in which case I think I'm SOL.

After all, fear can be fixed with a quick trip to the doctor for some tasty valium, a trip to the liquor store for a bottle of something cheap and strong, or the ever popular "finding something worse to fear", which for me usually just makes it doubly unlikely that I get anything done.

Laziness is something I'm working on. I've actually developed and (mostly) stuck to a schedule here and on my food blog, which is quite an accomplishment. I just need to add two or three more things into the mix. I can't say here that i'm going to do something, then not do it because I don't want to.

Heck, most of the time the thing I don't want to do lately is even *interesting*. How often is the thing you have to do *interesting*? Sure, I need to figure out some design stuff, but other than that, this is *fun*. I get to create something from nothing, and because it doesn't otherwise exist, no one can really tell me I'm doing it wrong.

Then, I'm also fighting the new shiny ball problem. I have another idea (or three) that seem like they'd be less work, or more fun, or just different, and I want to do those instead. Pleh.

So how do I think I can work with this? Simple, i'm thinking about taking the weekend off from the internet. I'm sure i'll be twitching by Saturday afternoon, but I don't need internet to write articles for a web site. I can fix them for SEO Monday. I can fix the page itself Monday. But if I'm actually going to get something done, I need a stick to smack me into wandering in the right direction.

My motivation for finding a job is just as low as what I've got for my projects, lower even. I'm applying for jobs that (mostly) don't interest me doing (mostly) things that disgust me, working for companies that I (again, mostly) don't support. I'm sure this has a lot to do with why everything else is all screwy. Maybe I should listen to the roommate and get a paper route. The money really *can't* be any worse than doing nothing, right?