Five Years Ago Today

Five years ago today I was on my way home for an adventure. I was halfway-ish between Wyoming and South Carolina, at a friends home in Kentucky. I had two days until my first wild flight, and the beginning of my first "real" adventure.

Two days later, on the 19th of December, 2005, I took off from Charleston. I spent the night riding the elevated trains in Chicago with the bums, before grabbing a spot at the booking computer in the lobby of the airport Hilton to book myself a spot to sleep the next night.

Five years ago I was wimpy, and scared, and more alive than I'd ever been before. I had almost total strangers telling me what a "ballsy" chick I was, how brave I must be, How they had AIDS in Africa, and I should be careful.

Five years ago I was planning to climb Kilimanjaro. I was going to see Cairo. I was spending a month in Africa, then three weeks at home, then moving *around the world* to chase my dream.

I didn't climb to the top of Kilimanjaro, but it didn't matter. I got extra sleep. I saw Lions and cheetah, and a leopard. Baboons went at it with wild abandon by the side of the road at the entrance to the Ngorongoro Crater. An elephant walked through our camp. We drank beer and roasted bananas, and laughed. I caught Malaria.

I like who I was five years ago. I was proud of that girl. She may have scammed her way into school, but *that* girl, she was going to do well, and ace everything, and live her dreams.

I'm not quite sure where she went. I haven't seen her in probably four and a half years. Back there somewhere, in the last 4 years or so, I let my dreams die. I let them get crushed under reality, and student loans, and debt. Maybe I never was that girl.

I was proud of that girl. I was proud to be her. And if maybe she was a little standoffish, and maybe she hadn't done the *whole* travel the world backpacking thing, I still think she could have been a backpacker.

I think, really, since I came back, I've just been existing. I don't really know what I want. I killed the dream I'd chased for years, probably half or more of my life. RAID kills bugs, I kill dreams.

I don't know really what I want to do with the rest of my life. I just know who I want to be. I want to be that girl who chases her dreams, striking high-fashion poses covered in grime. I want to be proud of me again.

Money Disconnect

not mine, this time, but that of RM#3.

RM3 decided that she wants to be a medical biller and/ or coder when she grows up. this is something that is offered at the local community college. The local *lottery funded* community college. At which *all residents* are eligible for almost full tuition grants from the lotto fund.

So she could go there, get the certificate to start working (if she could find a job) and keep working until she had her associates degree- for a little more than the price of books.

Is that where she wants to go?

Nope. She wants to go to the U of Phoenix online. For something like 30k.

Now, this is a job that *maybe* pays 30k a year. The entry point is a certificate. she wants to pay 30k (or rather, wants her parents to pay) for something she could do for, oh, about $1500.

Now, I might not be a bright shining beacon of fiscal responsibility, but even i can see that there's something wrong with her thinking. And not just the bit where she thinks going to school online is *better* ot that U of P is somehow better than the local CC.

It's the bit where there's a program *she can get into* that costs *something like 5%* of what the one she wants does, and she won't even consider it. To the point of screaming and throwing things.

Now, yes, me moving halfway around the planet to flunk out of a program that (can) make people into Vets in 5 years was stupid. I have the study skills of a drunk chimpanzee. And if there was/ is another program that would have taken *me* for the same price or less, I'd have moved my pale scrawny butt there instead.

I went to the *least expensive* option open to me. Crazy, but true. Then I forked it up, but that's not the point.

RM#3 threw a fit because her parents said that if she wanted to go to the place that costs *20x* more, she'd have to pay for it herself. Dude, if I have a choice of mediocre product for $10 and mediocre product for $200, my ass is *so* in the $10 line.

WTF.

srsly. For 30k she could go to a *real* school.. with, you know, classrooms, and stuff. Heck, she could get her whole forking bachelor's at College of Charleston for that much, including living expenses *and* beer.

Then again, I moved to Wyoming because it had the second least expensive out of state tuition in the country and my parents wouldn't pay my tuition if I went to alaska instead, so what do i know...

I Has A Schedule!

[insert cat photo here]

Tuesday night I made a schedule. I also wrote down goals (about 10) for November and numbered them 1-5. Work and money related goals, anyway. And a graph/ chart thingy to color in as I earn money, to try and make it seem a bit more real/ do-able.

Dunno how much it's going to help. Maybe if I manage to fill most of it in *this* month, it'll be easier *next* month? Right now it looks like a big empty grid with two lonely little squares filled in down in one corner.

Meanwhile, I was off the schedule (time-wise) by the end of the day I wrote it. So I've mostly tossed the times. Plan out my day from 5:30AM until 7PM? ick. Doomed to FAIL.

So now it says wake up and blog at 5:30 (kinda fail there, too, but close enough...), then I added a NAP, then after that my "work" day starts.

It's still a *long* list of stuff, and I'm really bad at feeling good about it, or like I got anything done. Which is silly, b/c I've done *at least* 3 things on the list every day.

They just aren't the ones that make me money right now, so they don't feel like I'm getting anything done. Maybe I need to make another chart/ grid- with my daily goals on it in a list, with a box for each every day, and put star stickers on them when I meet each goal (say, green star for "tried", red, blue, silver for 25, 50, 75% of goal, and gold star for anything I actually get *all the way* done) like a kindergarten class or little kid's chore chart.

I even have the stickers already...

Actually, I'm going to do that. I'll tape it up next to my bed above the "goals/ schedule/ income chart" already up there. Er, or rather, where the headboard would be, if I had one...

Hey, it's a good spot, and tough to miss or avoid.

Brain Getting Into NaNo Mode

I'm going to Win this year, you know. For the last year or so I'd closed off ideas. actually, most of the last couple years. I'd get ideas, and have no idea how to write them, or get an idea only to find out someone else had just sold the *exact same thing* to the only place that buys that kinda story...

So I closed the ideas off, stopped playing the "what-if" game, and any stray ideas that made it over the wall were ignored until they gave up and went away.

Not this week. Over the weekend, actually, I realised that I need *at least* an idea before NaN0 starts, and that means not just letting them in, but cultivating them so I can see which is strong enough. Right now I have two strong contenders, and each (maybe) could continue into a series.

Not bad "work" for a weekend and a (very) little bit of "what if"-ing.

Of course, to kill any sense of momentum, I also did no "real" work. I joined Twitter, though. Also not work. Not tweeting yet, not sure I want to. Interestingly, wil wheaton and Neil Gaiman tweet more than *any* of the internet marketing types I follow. I don't know if that means they have more to say, less to do, or are trying to avoid larger piles of work, but it's keeping me amused.

Now, though, I need to go do some slimy internet writing so I earn enough to pay the rent, so I can live inside with electricity and internet and a stove in November.

Ack, It's Wednesday, and Decision Time, Too!

I'm starting to think I need some kinda calendar or something, that beeps or throws stuff at me on set days of the week.

So... I'm trying to do a bunch of different things right now. I'm trying to get myself earning enough money to pay the bills. I'm trying to set up some kind of ongoing residual income stuff. I'm working on my budget (sad and seriously underfunded though it may be). I'm trying to make myself set up a website that I see a real need for, and that I've been planning and half-assing for *months* now.

But I'm also trying to do and work on and decide some other stuff, too.

I need to figure out what I'm doing for NaNo. I need to work on getting an idea ready, to the point I can finish this year.

Also, I've got a possible opportunity to do something really cool next year. It's got some serious up-front costs, though. To take this "job", I'd have to get all that stuff up there that I'm trying to do for and with money done. Like, now, so I can go.

Basically, a group I've been following has a pretty big volunteer set up going in Haiti. I've been interested in what they're doing since I first heard about them. But between getting down there and the extra equipment I'd need, it's something like $3000 before I even get there. And because they work *full* days doing demolition and rebuilding, I wouldn't be able to even *pretend* to supplement my income with crappy cheap article writing. It just takes too long. I'd have time to do something like work on a website (if I could upload at the end, so I didn't need the wifi the whole time I was working), or work (slowly) on fiction work.

No way to even pretend to put in full days writing web content for other people.

Of course, the while-you're-there expenses are pretty low, too...

I have three or four other possibilities.

There are a good dozen things I want to do, but most get cut off by monthly costs.

I've already decided that to work, the options have to all last (ideally) at least 4 months, cost less than $1000 per month, and not involve sitting on my butt in front of a computer all day.

The first option is, probably, the one with the lowest up-front cost. The trip to Mexico, followed by points south. Plenty of time to work with this option, and plenty to see as well.

The second might not even fit into the budget, I need to price stuff out more- Hiking the AT (with or without my fuzzy half brother). This is the *only* life-goal interest in the US that *might* fit my budget. Insurance (or not having insurance) could push the cost too high, though. Very easily. Also, pretty much no chance to do internet *or* writering stuff while hiking. Even the lightest of computers is heavier than what I want to carry for 2300 miles.

Third option I'm looking at (that would battle with even *applying* for the Haiti trip) is Thailand. It's expensive to get there, visa fees are high, but once over there prices are pretty solidly low, there's a large network of people doing "internet stuff" (and probably "writer stuff," too) to hook up with for in-person motivation and competition. Again, good work time availability, but also plenty of distractions.

Thailand is honestly sitting in a pretty distant last place right now. Depending on what my price research turns up (and if I can find insurance that'll cover an otherwise uninsured american hiking in the US) the AT hiking might be out, too.

So really, the choice (so far, I think) is between volunteering in Haiti (if I apply and get accepted) and starting a tour of the Spanish speaking (non-island) Americas.

I dunno....

If You Won The Lottery

Not that I have- that would be a sign Santa loves me. At this point I'm starting to think that 6 year old was right and Santa's a fake...

The point is, I like to make a list of what I'd do, or *think* I'd do if I ever won some huge pile of money.

Not how I'd go get it, or setting up trusts or anything like that. But what I'd actually *do*.

I think it gives a pretty good idea of what people want from life.

So, if I ever won the lottery I'd (in approximate order):

• Pay off everyone and everything that I owe
• give my parents a chunk of money
• set money aside for my sister to pay out as she works, or to pay for school, but without giving her direct access
• book tickets to NYC and Europe
• renew my passport (if needed)
• see Apocalyptica in concert
• go to Florida or California and ride roller coasters every day for a week
• invest almost everything so I'd not have to worry again
• hike the Appalachian Trail (with or without a borrowed dog)
• blog
• spend a year travelling and donating money all over the world
• keep doing the internet thing
• open a hostel
• backpack around the world for as long as I want
• write books
• live in NY, SF, London, LA

Obviously that's a "huge pile of money" winning lotto- the "dream" amount. With $200k I'd pay off my debts, then hike the AT and backpack, while building an online business/ writing. $10k and I'd just start with backpacking and the business/ writing. $100 or less makes no real difference to my life- I'd buy more soda or extra gas.

But it shows me what interests me, what I want to do with my life. If I could pay off everything I owe in one swell foop, I'd be all over that. It's a long range goal. If I could donate piles of money to causes, groups, even people that I think need it, I'd do that. Another long range goal.

Some of them I can do *now*, tho- blogging, building a business that can eventually earn enough to let me do those more expensive goals, working on a book, preparing to, saving for, and taking off on a long term backpacking or hiking trip. A lot of my goals aren't expensive.

If I were more of a stay in one place kinda girl, I'm sure there'd be smexy cars and houses and pool boys and whatnot on that list. I'm sure eventually I'd get at least one of them. Heck, my dream car is less than $100k US with every possible upgrade. (drool, drool, lust...) But that's not something I think about in a daily kinda way.

If I don't plan to settle anywhere in the next 5 years, why would I need a house? If I'm globe hopping, why would I need a car? If I don't have a house, why on earth would I need a pool boy?

Sure, at some point I'll probably want a better place to keep my accumulated stuff (not that there's really that much of it) other than Dad's garage, Mom's shed, or a rented storage unit. Some day I might not have those options. For now, though, and in my goofy bills-paid dream world, that time hasn't come yet.

So what I seem to want in life are experiences, do-goodering, freedom from debt... And the sexy car. Other than the *huge piles* of donated cash, most of the rest of it seems pretty achievable.

What does your Dream/ Lottery/ Life list look like?

Last week's goals and a break.

So, I basically met none of last week's goals.

I have nothing money-wise going on until the 6th of October, so I'm gonna let this site rest for a week or so. It seems the only things I ever have to write about here are "I have x,y,z goals. I failed to meet any of them", and about not having money. Not much to write about there. Honestly, I don't think anyone wants to read about "I have $6 in the bank, and no gas in the car." It gets old, right?

So I'm setting 1 goal for me between now and next Wednesday. It's super easy.

I have a pill I have to take every day. My goal is to actually take that pill *every day*.

Oh, yeah, and when I get the crazy urge to work, I need to try to actually *work*, not talk myself out of it by opening a new book, doing laundry, or cooking something. When my brain says "work", I need to at least *try* to listen.

But that one's not so much a "this week" goal, more a lifetime-type goal.

So yeah, taking a break here. I'll be back on the 6th. Or maybe the 8th.

Dear Santa...

I've been a very good girl this year, if you ignore the whole quitting my job, moving across the country thing. And the not getting a new job thing. And the ongoing depression, borrowing money, and not paying all my bills stuff (oops, didn't I mention that last one? Hello, more student loan forbearance).

But I haven't killed anyone, or physically robbed any banks, or forced my attentions on anyone. That counts as good, I think.

This year for (insert random winter holiday here) I'd like quiet roommates. Or no roommates. And if I *do* end up spending more than one month of next year in this state/ country, could that quiet home please be in a place where I can walk to stuff, like cafes and shops, and the library, and parks and things?

Alternately, the motivation to get that stuff on my own would work. Or a huge pile of coal to sell might pay for it....

Mi casa es muy loud. srsly. Forking boys.

Working Too Much?

Someone told me recently that I work too much. Or maybe it was that I don't have enough fun.

I spend a lot of time *trying* to work, I'll go along with that. Actually working? Nowhere near enough. I do a lot of goofing off, spend more time than I should picking projects, and not enough actually doing what I should. I haven't started my contest project yet, never quite got around to writing that article I challenged my friend to write, and I don't have anything going right now at TB.

So while I spend a lot of time at the computer or alone, I don't work all that much. Which, of course, needs to change. Can't pay the bills if you don't work, right? And the list of things I need to do just gets longer, as does the list of bills I have to pay.

Once I get some kind of actual rhythm going, and work actually starts getting *done* during work time, I'll be all over having fun. I'll snag my golf clubs back from mom's shed, fill the gas tank, and go out and have fun.

Until then, though, it's try to work until I actually *do* time.

No fun, that- all the frustration, none of the dollars.

Escape is Expensive

I'm starting to plan my escape. It's coming up pretty fast now, and I need to make sure it's still manageable.

I'm sure it seems irresponsible to some people (like my father) or dangerous (to just about everyone else), but really, travelling won't be that much worse, financially, than staying where I am. In some ways it's much, much better.

Just... this starting out bit is going to be expensive. I need to either fix my laptop or replace it with a super cheap netbook. I need a new camera, a small travel bag for my golf clubs (yes, they're coming with me), shoes, clothes, a backpack, insurance, tickets, and shiny new passport...

It's at least $1500 worth of stuff, and I keep seeing new things that would work really well, and be super useful. The worst part is, the things I need- clothes, for the most part, are more expensive when they're designed for women or travel. Women's travel clothes are, therefore, about twice as expensive. Pleh.

So, with all these expenses, how will I manage? I've got to start cutting. I think I know what I want/ need for clothes, and i'll start hunting the thrift stores for the few things I might be able to find- like a scarf, sweater, lightweight black skirt. I'll watch the interweb for sales on the clothing items I need/ want, and reconsider my shoe setup.

Still thinking about the laptop/ netbook thing. Parts to fix the laptop will be at least $200, a cheap netbook with decent battery life and nice low weight can be had for less than $300. Don't know which is better, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

What did I mean when I said taking off could be better for me financially?

I won't have a car, or the expenses that come with it. I won't have traditional US-style lack of health insurance--travel health insurance covers accidents and whatnot, so if something happens I won't end up thousands of dollars deeper in debt. There may be tax savings, there's less to buy, expenses are (for the most part) lower. So long as I don't take up scuba diving my monthly expenses should be no more than what they are here.

And my work (such as it is) is already online.

Until then, though, I need to keep making my lists, cutting them down, and stretching out the extra bits of cash I can find in my budget. Funny, even with all the "expense" and gear the pre-trip expense is less than first, last, and deposit on an apartment.

What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

People ask kids that every day. Maybe not the same kid, but someone, somewhere, asks that. After I got over the fact that I wasn't *really* a princess (which was a bit of a shock, and still hasn't totally worn off) I decided I wanted to be retired.

Now, I get the feeling that not a lot of kids go around saying that. I'd imagine it's mostly adults that want to be retired when they grow up. But from what I saw, work sucked! Mom and Dad would go to work super early, stay there all day, come home exhausted and angry, and have to do it all again the next day. Who wants to do that? In contrast my (retired) grandparents watched TV, went to art classes, joined clubs, and generally had an ok time. Doesn't take a genius to figure out which is the better job.

When people ask what you want to be when you grow up they expect a certain type of answer- doctor, fireman, police officer, video game designer. If you tell them you want to be retired, they look at you funny and tell you retirement comes *after* work. Pretty sure I'm still not buying that. It's one of only three things I've ever wanted to be, though. In fact, it's probably the most attainable. Well, for now.

Being a novelist, after all, requires actually writing a novel- preferably a good one. And animal doctoring? Takes a whole lot more geographic stability (and classroom time) than I can manage right now. I think I proved that one pretty conclusively, at least. So that leaves retirement.

Problem is, I don't want to put it off, and I don't want to work like a dog to fund it. Everything else I've done has really been trying to fit my dream job into some kinda framework that other people thought would be ok. Now I'm trying to work some way of earning money into my dream. I think it works better this way.

Kinda funny, though. Every time I told someone what I wanted to be when I grow up (still hasn't happened) they'd tell me you couldn't do that. I don't remember anyone (before I learned to lie about it) suggesting ways to make it happen. Maybe it's a bit forward thinking of me, or obviously liberal, but you shouldn't have to hate your life for years before you get to chase your *real* dreams.

Heck, without dreams and dreamers we'd still all be living in caves. Un-painted, boring caves. Imagine you're a kid again. You can do or be *anything*. What is the one thing that pulls you hardest? Is there any way you could do it now?

Self-Employment, Life, and Taxes

When you have a job, you just get a check. Taxes come out, but until about February, most people with jobs don't need to think about taxes at all. When you don't have a job? Suddenly the tax thing is a huge scary monster.

When you work for yourself you're responsible for your own taxes. Sounds obvious, but it's trickier than I thought. Take home pay calculators for the traditionally employed are all over the internets. Calculators that can/ will do the math on self employment taxes are rather more difficult to find. To be safe I've been working with 35% overall tax rate- FICA, state, fed, whatever.

Turns out this is (more than a little) high. There's no way in any colored hell I'll make enough to pay that much. This year I'll be lucky if I make enough to pay federal income tax at all. Feels strange to write that, by the way--lucky to pay tax. A more accurate tax rate for me, random web site told me, is 22 to 28 percent, including state, fed, and FICA--if I make $4,000 a month for the rest of the year. Not bad.

Related to the whole tax thing, I have to figure out what my tax home is. I don't think you can be without a tax home, and I don't want to be taxed SC state income tax (7% of everything) while I'm off living in some random country. So I foresee some quality time spent between the IRS website, and their Q&A hotline.

Positive stuff this weekend included reading about someone who wandered past an ~300USD /month studio with all utilities included in the non-tourist part of Playa del Carmen. Ok, the *less* tourist part. With WiFi. That's $70 less a month than I pay now, and without a car my savings would be even better. Mexico and South America sound better every day. I'm dreaming about travelling and paying down my debts, all for about what it's costing me to eke out some miserable un-life here. Sounds good to me, even if it means travelling slower than slow.

August 2010 Goal post is Postponed

Need to make the money to pay the rent to live in the house, cook the food, and use the internets.

Back 6th August 2010.

Oh, and I made my July $ goal- by about $0.20. I get paid for it sometime in September, but it's nice to know it's possible.

10 Things That Can Kill a Tight Budget

When you're dealing with seriously limited funds the smallest slip can grow into a budget killer. Here are 10 mistakes, and possible solutions.

1. Returning things late. That $1 Redbox DVD was affordable for one night, but if you don't return it after the first night the cost creeps up. Library books have the same problem. Mark when they're due in a calendar, keep them in a central location, and make the library a regular stop when you're doing errands.
2. Not saving for regular maintenance. Cars, bicycles, and people all need regular work. Saving a portion each month means the money is there when the bill is, and you are less likely to put it off. Skipping regular checkups can lead to bigger, more expensive problems.
3. Buying prepared food and drinks. Unless your fast food lunch is a single sandwich off the dollar menu packing a lunch will be cheaper. Cooking at home will save money, but also time- no rushing to the car, through the drive-thru, and back to work. Coffee or soft drinks brought from home are less expensive, too.
4. Not "batching" trips. If the bank, library, grocery store, and dry cleaners are all in the same general direction make them one trip. Plan the shortest route that finishes all your errands and you'll save gas, but also driving time.
5. Not considering transportation cost. If there's a great sale on something you need, but the store is 15 or more miles away you may be spending more on gas than you're saving. This is also true for public transit. If there's a closer store, try shopping there. Save the "sale" store for when other errands take you in that direction, or for major stock-up trips.
6. Rent-to-own anything. The final cost of what you're renting will end up being several times what you would have paid if you just saved up and bought it. Use an air mattress until you can afford a real one, ask family and friends for hand-me-downs, or haunt thrift stores until your budget loosens up or you save enough to buy what you really want.
7. Replacing non-essentials when they break or wear out. If you have three pair of jeans and one wears through in the seat, just let it go. Likewise if your computer or other electronic toy breaks. Public libraries often have computers for use, and most other electronics aren't as necessary as we think they are.
8. Shopping hungry and without a list. Going into a grocery store unorganized and hungry is almost guaranteed to drive your bill up. Plan your meals, check your pantry, eat a snack, and make a list. A few more minutes before you start can save a bunch at the till.
9. Entertainment. You don't have to lock yourself in the house, but you do need to put limits on entertainment. If you like to hang out with friends at bars, give yourself a strict 1 drink limit, and make it the special. Don't rent movies every night, try borrowing them from the library. The library is also good for readers. If you're active and like the outdoors, try hiking or running on a nearby trail or greenway.
10. "Just looking" in stores. If you spend time in stores, and bring any kind of money, you'll usually spend something. Find something else to do with your time. Try a new hobby with low expenses or that uses things you already have-- drawing, digital photography, baking, running. Shopping, even just window shopping, should be limited. It's harder to be tempted when you don't know what's out there.

Is there anything missing, or that you think is more important than what's included here?

Unemployable?

There's been a lot of discussion across some blogs I read, and in the interwebs in general, about "unemployability." Now, they don't mean that no one is looking to hire a certain skill set, or that a career path doesn't exist anymore.

What everyone is really talking about is being entrepreneurially minded. If you don't want to sell your time to other people, they're calling that unemployable. Which I can kinda see. Not only do some people hate working for others, they're really bad at pretending to not mind.

For an example, there's this post and discussion at Escaping the 9 to 5, or the whole of the Genetically Unemployable blog/ site. And I'm pretty sure it's a common topic over at Ridiculously Extraordinary.

See, I'm not without skills. I've been called "terrifyingly competent" by a friend/ coworker. And for the most part, I have no problem working what, in the art community, is known as the "day job." But I don't like it. I hate knowing that I'm spending my time making gobs of money for some (usually) invisible higher-up. I'd rather make money for *me*. It doesn't help that I can't cover up my disinterest in working for someone else.

So I guess I'm unemployable. Or entrepreneurial. Same diff.

I seem to be lacking some of the most important bits for that to work, though. Disdaining traditional employment is all well and good, after all, but a girl still needs to pay the bills. That's where I seem to fall down. I don't have the follow-through or stick-to-it-iveness that you need to make money for yourself- either through a business or some other way.

But I'm working on it, and it's getting better. I'm still a scared little girl, but I'm forcing myself to jump off higher and higher cliffs with my work. It's getting less scary, but not by much. Actually, the thought of living in a box is getting scarier, so I'm throwing myself off those cliffs to try and pay the bills. Eventually I'll get everything pulled together, hit the right spot and soar instead of falling.

For now, I need to decide if I'm going to really make a go of this whole working for myself thing, or if I'd rather give up and try to re-train myself into a perfect little wage slave. My money's on self-employed success. I don't think anything less than a full lobotomy would make me happy to follow directions. Drat my stubborn hide.

Bits of Fail and Win

Fail-

• I write spam for dollars
• just found 2 library books I didn't know I had out- and they were due back more than a week ago
• I don't remember checking out the books, which I now owe about $2 on.
• The library's system is down, so I can't even check
• I'm totally broke
• I *still* haven't got anything on that dratted website I'm "building"

Win-

• I get *paid* for that spam I write
• I've seen topics and headlines from jobs I didn't take around the intarwebs and in my spam folder
• Rent's paid to the end of the month
• I'm a "good" roommate- rent stuff
• there's plenty of month left, and I'm feeling brave today
• bread- I'm making it