End of Month Update- August 2010

So, of all the things I listed to do this month, I think I managed 1- get a realistic idea for budgetting at my first location.

Everything else? Fail.

I got pretty stuck with the writing- not because it's tough but because I seem to want to think it's difficult. It's really very easy. So I'm going back to my production method from before- voice to text, and hopefully the lack of typing will increase my word count.

Otherwise, depression and multiple attempts at quitting caffeine pretty much killed this month. I'm thinking about maybe doing weekly goals, to match up with one or two monthly goals. "cause, honestly? I write those goals and forget them right now. Months pass fast, but they're still plenty long enough for me to procrastinate through.

And if there's one thing I'm WIN at, it's procrastination.

Start of Month Update- August 2010

Sorry this was a bit delayed- trying to earn the big bucks take time, I guess- well, at a panny a word it does, anyway.

So goals for August are pretty much all money related. I'm gonna take the relaxing, meditating, exercising stuff off for now, because I don't do them, then I feel bad. So I'm dropping them, but I'm sure they'll be back eventually.

So, goals-

• Make enough to pay the bills this month- including (at least) $100 for dad, and the car insurance which is up at the end of the month.
• Write enough articles at textbroker each day to make $50
• Write and submit at least one perfect, clean article a week to Constant Content * (so 3 or 4 this month)
• No matter what, even if all the available article titles at tb suck, write at least one article
• Start working within 2 hours of waking up- every day.
• Write at least one 300 word article for my travel page a day, starting Saturday.
• Get said website actually up and running with at least 10 pages by the end of the month, with 5 up by the 15th.

And some longer range stuff that I need to work on-

• Passport photos, and renewal
• Price digital cameras to replace the one I killed
• Price netbooks for when I take off again
• Start putting together packing list/ to do list for trip
• Save for that trip
• Get other student loans on either forbarence or income based repayment.
• work on timelines for trip-type departure. Looking at December or January.
• Do more research RE: budgets where I'm looking to start out. Connect with people in those areas, find out realistic prices.
• Work on Spanish.

I think that's enough to keep me busy. Some of this is a bit fantasy at the moment. I'm trying to figure out how much I can pull off. I should be able to travel for about what I live on now, albeit in a rather super-budget-kinda way. I'll have to actually *work* on it now, though. Hopefully the idea of getting back out into the world from my small, sad, rat shack life will be enough to get/ keep me motivated.

* The Constant Content link is an affiliate link. If you click on it and sign up to be a writer there, and actually sell something, I get 5% of the sale price. It comes out of the portion CC takes, and their commision is the same if you use the affiliate link or not. I haven't actually got anything up (as of Aug 6, 2010), so I can't tell you with any real authority that it works, but there are some pretty happy writers there. It's web content, nothing first person (no "I"), no fiction, no poetry. But it pays much better than textbroker, and you can pick what you write.

End of Month Update- July 2010

Totally spazzed that I needed this today. End of the month just kinda snuck up on me. It does that, I hear.

So, Goals...

Physical/ mental-

I didn't meditate before turning the computer on. I probably did meditate a couple times, but not quite right. Working out was likewise FAIL. Eating was about a half and half.

Financial-

I cancelled WoW at the beginning of the month. I really miss it, but it's out for now. I've given up on applications and resumes for now. I'm going with this writing thing. I've just about got enough to pay the rent- I'm borrowing a bit from dad to cover until I get "paid", and by then should be golden.

Personal/ business-y-

The month started off slow with writing, but I've picked up a bit since then. I've had some story ideas, but other than vague outlines and character sketches haven't written anything yet. Article writing was going similarly slow at the beginning of the month, but that's picked up as well, by necessity. It's still tough to get started each day, and I'm terrified after I hit the "submit" button, but I'm definitely submitting stuff. My local site, however still languishes, ignored and whatnot. I know what I want to do now, but don't seem to be able to make myself do it. Dratted motivation. The $1/ day income *might* make it this month- it's close. I've run about $2 behind all month, between all the different stuff. I don't include article sales in this, it's really just ad revinue and affiliate sales.

So that was July.

August goals up Monday.

Start of Month Update- July 2010

Yay, new month, new goals. Well, some of them, anyway.

Starting out with mental/ physical health goals-

1. Try to meditate at least 2x a week, right after getting up, before using the computer
2. work out in some way (maybe try yoga or do basic ballet warm ups) at least 2x week
3. EAT

financial is next up, and pretty important

1. cancel WoW for now. If I can't afford cell phone time, I can't afford WoW.
2. Turn in *and check up on* at least two applications/ resumes a week. 4 is better.
3. Find, earn, or create (legally) enough money to pay the rent next month.

Then personal/ business-y

1. Write (other than blogs) at least once a day, even if it's only 5 words.
2. Claim, write, and turn in at least 1 article a week, no matter what.
3. Get local travel site up and running.
4. Break $1 a day average earning barrier online.

So that's what, 10 goals? Most pretty easy. Some a bit tougher. Some should just be basic, really. Some I'd have to try pretty hard to mess up, actually. Maybe it's cheating to give myself goals I almost have to meet, but I think I need that built in win. I really don't (you know, inside where it matters) know that I can do *any* of this stuff.

Yeah, there's some overlap between the items. there always is some overlap somewhere in life. I think I like this way, though. Someday, after all, I'll be able to pay the bills without wondering where the cash is coming from. I just have to work my way there. If fsking my mind is the only way to do that, then time for me to fsk away.

Update for June totals

On my June goal I came in $0.45 short for *the month*, with a daily average of 58.5 cents. Not bad, but not paying the rent, either. Does pay the WoW bill, though.

End of Month Update- June 2010

To start out, I got one thing done that wasn't anywhere as tough as I thought it would be- I applied for (and so far got) forbearance on my (non-private, in repayment) student loans. So Bonus. If (when) I finish filling out the paperwork at an "employment" agency (also known as a temp agency) I can apply for deferral instead.

New website isn't coming along. I had the main page up, but decided I didn't think it was going to work. Rather than work on it in WP, though, I decided to try it in Joomla again. Mistake. I can't get it to look professional *at all*, so back to WP I'll be going.

I managed about 6 applications (so far, month isn't quite over yet), so I was 2-4 short. I'll call it a half fail.

With one day to go, I haven't *quite* hit my income goal (20% was, maybe, a little ballsy), but I've still grown over last month. I've have joined a new ad network, which pays totally on eyeballs, rather than clicks, hopefully increasing my income there. It also shares headlines, so I might get some new visitors as well.

I *did* leave the house about 4 days a week, but usually only one or two was before noon. I (mostly) managed to talk to someone each time, except the library- they've put in an automatic check out, and I don't think they care that I'm trying to practice being social.

Oh, and the meditating? Not so much. Even when I remember to try it, I can't shut my brain up enough to want to try it. I know, can't get better if you don't practice.

I did manage to not totally freak out this month. I called and cashed out my (one) stock and my (whole $200) 401k, which took calling and talking to strangers with out hyperventilating. Yay for shy geeky anti-social types!

Now I'm gonna write out a check for the rent (and the back rent) so I have a place to live in July.

Start of Month Update- June 2010

Since last month was pretty much full on fail, I've decided to step back and try fewer, easier goals. I have to accept that I'm doing the hugely depressed/ overwhelmed thing right now, and that depression gets some say in what I do.

So, to try and keep it from taking over totally, I'm going to try small goals, and fewer of them. I think having only 4 or 5 goals (or two or three) should help with the feelings of impending *Fail*. After all, if I have 20 goals and meet 3 of them, I Fail 85% of them. If I have 5 goals and manage three, I WIN 60%. Sure, it's a cheat, but I use what I got.

So for goals.

• turn in at least 2 applications every week.
• Leave the house at least 4 days a week (before noon), and talk to at least 1 person each time
• Fill out forbearance paperwork on student loans
• increase daily internet income from 50 cents to 60 cents on average for the month
• write one article for each section of the new website- basics, food, sleep, activities, other fun.

I think I should be able to manage these. They are goals I can (for the most part) control all by myself- daily internet income excepted. I already have the student loan paperwork. I also have an application I need to turn in.

If *this* overwhelms me and I shut down... I dunno what would be next. One goal at a time?

There aren't any real debt or income related goals on there (adsense doesn't count). There's a pretty good reason for that. With nothing coming in, I pretty much totally freak out when I think about money- how much needs to come in, how far behind I am, how long until I don't have to worry about it any more. So I've got goals that (should) eventually lead to bringing in money/ paying debts off, but without the super high pressure/ drama direct goals.

Oh, one other goal-

• Meditate daily

Hey, it works for other people. What's the worst that could happen? I spend time thinking to myself about not being able to stop thinking? I do that when I try to fall asleep. And maybe it'll help me stay calm.

Totally off topic- If I were ever filthy stinking rich, I think it would be a huge pile of fun to have a tardis in the middle of my kitchen. Even if it didn't go any when.

End of Month Update- May 2010

Pretty much flubbed all goals this month.

What *did* get done-

• Paid rent (mostly)
• Bought gas for car
• Talked to CC companies (wasn't on list, happened anyway)
• Bought Domain/ Hosting ($42/yr) for to build useful website on.

What didn't get done-

• Everything else

Srsly. I turned in applications, had an interview, tried the motivated thing. No job, no writing done, I didn't even level my WoW character.

At this point, to say anything other than "Holy Carp I'm depressed" would pretty obviously be a big stinky lie. It has a lot to do with how I sell myself (or not) during interviews, cover letters, and on applications. After all, if I think I'm useless, I'll have a hell of a time convincing someone that I'd be a good addition to their company.

It also stops me from doing other stuff that needs to get done. I have a domain and hosting for a website, but nothing to put on there. My room looks like a soda bottle recycling plant, a library, and a tall chicks clothing store puked all over it. Oh, and I'm about 6 months behind on filing paperwork in my little folder of "wow, I has a big pile of debt". Heck, I have photos all ready to go for a couple different projects, and I've done nothing with them- it's too much effort to plug the camera into the computer and move the files.

Only good point to the no-motivation thing? I've no motivation to do *anything* requiring effort- so no physical self harm, just a whole lot of telling myself I suck. I knew the whole "super lazy" thing would come in handy some day.

So, yeah... May was pretty much a total wash. I owe dad closer to $2500 now, too.

One positive- I didn't hit my goal (because I really didn't try), but I did make about $15 this month from adsense. That's better than nothing, right?

Start of Month Update- May 2010

I'm going to start doing updates- one at the beginning of the month, and a follow-up at the end. Here at the beginning of the month I intend to set out my budget, savings and debt pay-off goals, and any money making goals, with steps (hopefully) to meet them.

Then at the end of the month I'll give a quick breakdown of how I did, and any unexpected happenings- extra cash, bonuses, trips to the doctor, that kinda stuff. So here I go.

Budget-

At the moment my budget for May doesn't look good. I have about $250 in the bank, and I still need to pay rent ($350). Just about all "fun" is suspended until I have a job. I have $15 at ING right now that I'll be moving into my working account as soon as I can transfer it. I should have that available Friday.

Anticipated spending breakdown-

• $350, Rent
• $20, Internet
• $15, Gas
• $1, Lotto (scrounged change)

Bills that will get paid if/ when cash becomes available (in order of personal importance)

• $50, Fed Loan 1 (x2, then defer)
• $15, CC1
• $100, S. Mae (x3, behind)
• $300, Other Student Loans (if in repayment, est.)
• $365, CC3 (x2, behind)
• $235, CC2 (x2, also behind)
• $100, Dad

Estimated total to bring everything current is 2450, and that's without any savings and short about $50 in gas. Real total needed is $2500 after taxes. In reality, I will go as far down the list as possible, paying the current month's due only, plus $50 or $100 of the back amount. That brings my total needed to a more manageable $1850 (max), while simultaneously trashing my credit and keeping the fed from garnishing my wages.

Savings and Debt Goals-

These are pretty easy-

• Don't get in more debt
• Save $20 if I can
• Get all bills to within $200 of being current
• Get deferral/ forbearance paperwork sorted and sent in

Income Goals-

These are further broken down into two groups- Real Life Income and Online Income

Real Life Income-

• Get two jobs (probably server jobs) earning at least $250 a week each (at minimum wage, that's about 34.5 hours/ wk each) by 7 May 2010
• Increase each job to $300/ wk by end of May

Online Income-

• Earn average of $10/ day for month. Some will probably come from AdSense (<$1/day), some from Amazon. Most will probably come from freelance writing.
• Write at least 20 articles for each of 2 (pre-chosen) article publishing sites
• Claim (and write) at least one paid article each week from both AC *and* Seed.com
• Write 20 articles for informative website
• Set up, optimize, and begin posting on book review site
• Add a "recommended" page to food blog

Other Goals-

I have some other things as well that I need to work on. As with most things in life, they have something to do with money, but maybe not directly.

• Reconcile savings and debt repayment goals with actual life goals
• Make motivational calendar with "Move!" date on it
• Work out minimum budget for big golfing trip, moving slow and camping
• Come up with 15 story ideas and turn one into a finished draft >25,000 words
• Clean and organize room once a week on "day off"

Okay, I think that's more than enough to work on for one month. It's only about 30 days, after all, and a couple are already gone.